THE GIRLFRIEND OF YOUR LIFE

It is known that it’s better to marry on the orphan.
Besides it is desirable, that your orphan was also the unsociable.
Otherwise you risk entering unequal fight with numerous army of
her girl-friends, false and predatory, as piranhas.

So if you dream about life with the mild and unpretentious essence looking at you with adoration by beautiful damp eyes, keep in mind, that with the advent of this angel
your modest bachelor life will be enriched with numerous, rather unexpected
phenomena and characters.

Certainly, for the love it is possible to go on much. It is possible
even to reconcile to its habit to not close a tube of a tooth-paste and
quietly to squeak teeth in a dream. It is possible to sustain Sunday tea
drinking at her Mum and manic predilection liked to shaggy porpoises. But when
in one perfect day in your life there will be its best girlfriend and you
will hear: " Meet, my darling, we with Lucy are childhood-friends ", -
take your time to drop tears of emotion directly on impressing Lucy’s bosom.
Before you the opponent is more serious than the troublemaking mother-in-law
and the harmless pet.

Psychologists for a long time have noted, that in a basis of female
friendship are two qualities: sacrifice and envy.
Probably, for this reason women so willingly empathize misfortunes each
other, and here sincerely to be pleased for girlfriends with it as though
something stirs. Anyway, if one of girlfriend has a male, another is covered with trouble.

On the one hand, she sees in such man an a rival, with another,
special female mind understands, that, having chosen its girlfriend, the man
lets know - from them two he has preferred not her. As a result of these
complex conclusions the man becomes a dangerous enemy and desired extraction
simultaneously. This Freudian hallucination - not that other, as the girfriend’s
gentleman, that is you.

During a long time the ancient instinct artfully whispers women of all times
and people about the same: the most simple way to self-affirmation and to check
up the sexual appeal is to beat off the man at the best girlfriend.
Certainly, this process is accompanied with moral torments, heart-breaking
stages and every possible cries which the man usually tries to avoid
at any cost.

For the woman, on the contrary, all this bad delirium is represented
delightful and fascinating performance which participants leave a stage
updated, full of forces, and the some people and at all anew born of ashes,
as a fadeless bird the Phoenix. And to blame these lovely creations
is senselessly: the female nature is those, to master with which
under force unless to separate highly moral persons. The trouble only that
the person is more highly moral, the below at it a waist and is shorter
her legs.

If your girlfriend is such specimen, consider, that to you are lucky. Plain women usually differ rather appeasable customs and judiciousness which they bring up in themselves at that time
while their pretty contempoparies run on appointments, turn to you a head
and powder brains. Besides the plain woman objectively estimates the chances
in a life and hardly will immediately rush to try on you the terrible
charms. But, alas, ugly women seldom are friends with beautiful - imagine
prospect to appear on any party in Antonio Banderas's company, and you will
understand the reason.
As shows an expert, miss the Best Girlfriend is attractive and that
the most awful, can quite appear in your taste. To cause in you exclusively
friendly feelings, she should reduce, at least, a decollete and less often
comes across to you on eyes. As neither that, nor another in her nearest
plans does not enter, you should think over own line of conduct precisely.
Otherwise you risk to get into an immemorial female trap and to transform
own life into a never-ending teleserial.

Small classification of the most harmful types of the Best Girlfriends,
based on the data received during interrogation of victims, will help to
avoid this sad prospect. As all below-mentioned characters are taken
directly from a life, we have decided to hide their names.

Dzhulija Roberts in comparison with her is crocodile. Lena is a real beauty in classical sense of this word. Anyway, in the street nine men from ten turn around. The tenth is either blind, or the gay. The beauty of Lena is a terrible force. Her life isn’t
a teleserial it is a fascinating thriller, more likely: simultaneously Lena
is looked after by aluminium king, the gangster of the Caucasian nationality
and the fashionable writer. As Lena does not aspire to hide at all from
gentlemen existence each other where she appeared, for her the romantic loop
of dramas and knifings everywhere lasts.

After especially heart-breaking episodes Lena usually resorts to you on a
visit and, sobring, but not without pleasure, narrates about the next
misadventures to the heart-felt girlfriend. At this time the roommate of the
girlfriend - that is you - listens to tongue-tied threats of the gangster by
phone and refuses on entreaty of the writer. Lena it is necessary to
spend the night. First this impudence madly irritates you, then
enrages. However, as the described episodes happen not less often than two
times a week, soon you find out, that were involved in game and itself not
away to listen at night to complaints undressed Lena on its difficult
destiny, and as required and to console poor girl. But, alas, in Lena’s a
thriller you will take "Oscar" for a role exclusively the second plan. To you
unfortunate career of the hero-lover can cost crash of the adjusted life and
attitudes with the beloved. Whether it is necessary to endow all it for some
unforgettable nights and pair the crises received in fight with raged
криминалом, to solve to you.

Ann does not like men at all. Also she hates you.. Because you are a
tyrant and the despot, force its girlfriend to prepare yourself for
breakfasts, restrain her freedom, do not allow to develop to its talents,
and recently have not released it in the ladies' company on a nudist beach.
In general, greater the bore, than you, are difficult to present
yourself. Well, if you were a handsome man, Ann still would understand
why such clear head as her girlfriend, has married such pettiness. So in
fact at your shoulders narrow and the bald head is planned...

You recently have almost casually heard all this, having slowed down a step
near a door in a drawing room. Certainly, to hear similar about itself it is
not palatable, but now the reason why at your wife character began to spoil
is clear to you, and here the second week instead of a tasty supper you find
out dirty utensils, an ashtray full of stubs, and a note on kitchen: " Dear,
has left on an opening day, I shall return late. Curdled milk behind a
window ".

Having suppressed in yourself a desire immediately to lower Ann from a ladder,
try to find more graceful decision. The most useless is to roll up to the
wife a stage with the requirement once and for all to expel your enemy from
a joint living space. You only will confirm reputation of the house tyrant.
Try to replace Ann to her . Invite it to exhibitions, parties and in
restaurants more often. Take to yourself for a rule of half an hour in day to
talk to her for a life even if at you from similar conversations reduces
cheekbones. And the main thing - praise highly its best girlfriend more
often. It though also not so gentlemen's, but rather effective way from it
to get rid.

Alex is so pretty and such unfortunate! The Destiny so is unfair to this
angel! Alex will be little bit at us, well, darling? The villain-husband
has lined to her an eye and has turned out, and she hasn’t money to pay for a rent.

So in your house there was an essence similar on small, pretty monkey.
The main achievement of " poor Alex " consists that she years of efforts has
created to herself proof reputation "unfairly offended" and now uses her in
a tail and in a mane, forcing associates incessantly to be engaged in its
affairs.

About the poor health she cultivates a myth especially carefully, thus
showing powerful appetite. Alex does not work anywhere , preferring to
sleep in the afternoon, and to have fun at night. Here already half a year
Alex lives at you, and the only thing, that disturbs her and stirs to full
and final comfort, is your presence. She feels fine that you understand who is Alex
and will do everything, that you to neutralize.

Earlier you also could not imagine, that it is possible to be friends of the
woman. But Cindy is absolutely an another matter. Cindy is a real
comrade. It is possible to talk to her about everything, including about
your family attitudes. She will always give explanatory advice and will turn
business so, that most imbroglios situation will seem to you simple and clear. All free time of Light spends with you - even to have a
rest you go three together. Cindy is a pretty girl, but she hasn’t private life.
Probably, she is too clever and the majority of men simply does not have boldness that it to estimate. And if you were not married to its best girlfriend... Eventually the output is.
All of you three - people of wide sights, therefore sooner or later the
beauty Cindy becomes renders the third (and completely
not superfluous) with you in bed.

However, if it seems to you, that everything is peacefully, closely look
narrowly at the wife - she already for a long time is on the verge of
nervous failure. If you do not wish to spend the nearest year and all of the
savings for stay of all participants of "tripartite alliance" in nervous
clinic, stop risky experiments which are good in years student's camp is
better and do not suit in any way home life. You should make a hard choice
as you, apparently, are quite banal has fallen in love with the best
girlfriend of the wife.