THE REASONS OF DIVORCES ARE FAMILY PROBLEMS

Divorces today are not news. In Russia each third marriage breaks up. In Moscow - everyone is the second. Thirty percent of a newly-married couple are not happy with the marriage. Forty - think of divorce in the first year of a joint life. Fifteen of them get divorced on the second. Surprise occasions to divorce much more. Even more often the reason of disintegration of family becomes not standard " a dissimilarity of characters " or change of one of spouses, and ordinary matrimonial boredom. Yes-yes! Passes time of the first love, the first serene years, and the husband with the wife start to live on the got algorithm. Beforehand all is known: it is what is the time allocated for work, how many - on children, and even how and when to be engaged in sex. It is no wonder, that spouses start to keep away gradually from each other. Habitual retorts, daily routine - and from former love does not remain both a trace. And the first this estrangement is noticed, as a rule, by the wife. In fact she feels disagreement in family traditionally more strongly and more sharply. Another is surprisingly: Perfectly knowing, that the family boat just about " will be broken about a life ", wives do not try to struggle at all with family boredom... In what is the reason of such behaviour? And how it is possible to overcome a monster by name Boredom? Really each family is doomed to pass through test by boredom? In fact it seems to a newly-married couple, that they will immensely appreciate every day, lead together.

After there have passed the first delights and joint "grinding in", there comes the period of the certain family calm when both are happy and happy. But there is time, and even rest starts to bother. After five-six years of a joint life spouses any more do not wait for surprises from each other. They well know merits and demerits of the partner. And if family safe do not feed vain hopes that the spouse in the course of time will turn to walking perfection, and with "minuses" of the wife (husband) already are able to be reconciled. All habits and predilections are each other studied up to trifles. And every day it is similar on previous. Not trying to keep freshness of relations, two doom themselves to eternal routine, and it should be reflected fatally in their attitudes.

For the woman a climate in family, the attitude of favourite especially is important. The family boredom turns to personal tragedy when the wife does not work. The missed opportunity to promote or not ended formation force the woman to take offence at the spouse. A pier, she for the sake of him has offered all, and he... And even if lady on a throat is busy, she all the same reacts to an inattention of the husband sharply. In fact coming back home, she tries to create what-any cosiness, and will come across impenetrable indifference. The husband doesn’t interest her problems, as a rule, on a throat is occupied own (on work, for example). It is natural, that sooner or later the wife starts to answer the same. And the crack in family relations gradually expands till the sizes of a precipice.

Husbands completely plunge into business contacts, it’s uninteresting to their wives. Both the free time, and the days off also are devoted to work. As a result, the wife appears in vacuum of dialogue with which cannot fill neither children, nor friends. Gradually she accepts "game rules" and gets the lover - quite natural outcome of a husband's inattention.

«The third superfluous " appears more often because of family boredom. When it is good together, people" do not look at the side”. And here deficiency of dialogue simply pushes the spouse or to the spouse on searches of happiness with other person. And really, if at home the same is constantly, daily torture of joint suppers, terse conversations and lawful " six minutes of sex in a week " (for comparison: on shaving at the man in a week 25 minutes leave approximately), unless can it be named FAMILY?

It’s said, illness is easier for warning, than to treat... If the objective reason of some cooling for a long time has disappeared, and former vivacity in relations to return it is not possible - to sound time alarm. In general it is necessary to be guarded, if each your day is similar on previous. The long matrimony, especially if at you while is not present children or they already for a long time are independent, - favorable circumstances for development of boredom. In fact the further the wife and the husband leave from each other, it’s more difficult to return freshness of relations. Here already nearby before occurrence of " a parallel life " at each of a two, so and before divorce. Remember: how long time did you speak friendly with the husband? How much time did you recently spend together? Do you know what disturb him and what please? And whether he knows, what disturbs you, whether is capable something to help, when it is bad? These are not all questions. They will help you to understand, whether it is time to something to change in relations, to make a life more pleasantly and more interestingly.

To return to relations of spouses former pleasure, first of all, it is necessary for something to change desire of both spouses. Only so they can help themselves. The husband and the wife should understand, that it is necessary to arrange to itself rest from grey everyday lives. To remain alone so that did not stir neither children, nor friends, work. To repeat from time to time a honeymoon in favourite places. Let infrequently, but to come back during that remarkable time when all was fresh and new.

The wife is capable to make much for "repair" of family. For example, simply to speak the husband compliments, to support him. It is possible to arrange pleasant surprises, to praise favourite in public (men oh as love it) and more often to speak what he wishes to hear. Husbands can be given similar advice: do not hesitate to express admiration favourite, even if you are together for a long time. And it is not necessarily should be "on duty" compliments...

Further, it is not necessary to drag in the house work’s troubles. In fact and the wife on her workplace, probably, is hardly. But what sense to vent a harm on the favourite person! On the contrary, the strong and understanding family will provide reliable rear whatever happens. And years of a matrimony should make family even more reliably. Think: will you really allow banal boredom to break your union?

With boredom in bed it is necessary to struggle especially intensively. A bedroom is not a place for quarrels and problems. It is better to understand in advance with all questions at issue. Exists and the certain biological problem with which families face with significant "experience". The matter is that the peak of sexual blossoming at men is necessary for 20-25 years. At women is only on 28. But many ladies are capable to take pleasure in sex nearly till ninety years. All these nuances can be reflected in an intimate life of spouses. And disharmonies it is necessary to be able to avoid, to be simple more closely to each other. It is necessary to stop to concern to sex, as to a fast food from a refrigerator. He should remind a magnificent dinner at candles and then to spouses it will be never boring with each other.

[The boredom in relations is familiar not only to family people, but also everyone who had long enough relations. It seems, that all charm has already ended, there was only a boring coexistence. If you wish to live a full, interesting, harmonious life, on practical trainings of Academy of Acquaintances you in real conditions learn to create a masterpiece from each day, to make rare and beautiful any moment of the relation with the favourite person.]

It is necessary to remember always of what the happiness consists. And it consists of love, trust, mutual understanding, passion, tenderness. And important health of spouses, a material well-being of family, time which two spend with each other here is. I shall repeat: though sometimes spouses should arrange joint weekends. It is important to halve all: both mountain, and pleasure. It is important to grow together, overcoming difficulties of a life.